God
Fuck

fuck...

Whats going on
What fucking happening?

I used to crack like porcelean. When i would fall. I would chip and crack, but never break. Right now i feel as if im busting into a million tiny pieces and something is eating the shards. Something is stealing the life from me. The color is draining from my skin. There are two black holes where my eyes used to be. And i cant wash the grey off..
Sometimes i cry. but mostly i just feel like im already dead. this place that should seem familiar is purgatory..its limbo. Boredom is constant. The pounding is incessant. I use these things i do to occupy myself, my time, and to keep from losing my mind- to keep from losing myself in this town. At night the streetlights seem to flicker. I take just one more drag. What else is there to do in this place when your bored? i need to keep my head above the waves. And i think to myself... "Where has the life gone?"

Whats happening to everyone?
I feel like im drowning
My friends are disappearing..This seems trivial to some im sure..because many people dont truelly know what friendship is. They have so many aquaintances they assume are their friends. I only have very few friends. But the few i have i am very close to. So losing them hurts me so much more...i would explain how im suffocating... but i feel just too drained right now...

More later...